A short story of two Hobbits
by Japs
Summary: The short tale of two Hobbits, Ferdirand and Hamfast.


As you know, or should know by now, Hobbits are creatures smaller than men and dwarves who are plump and dress in bright colors. This is the short tale of a particular Hobbit, Ferdirand Hamwich, who had a small adventure around three months after Bilbo left for an adventure that became famous.   
Ferdirand needs a little background, I suppose, as many these days are not familiar by his name. He was a young Hobbit who lived by the rising and falling of the sun. By dawn he would be awake, dressed and sharp, with a fresh loaf of bread and a cup of tea on his table. He would often be seen climbing trees, which he did partly because he was a good jumper, partly to show off to Hobbits that couldn't. But he was a prankster! He would balance a bucket of water atop a slightly open door, he would sneak Gunpowder from one of Gandalf's celebration displays and put small amounts of it in little packages, throwing them down to scare Hobbits in the night, and even once he scared smaller Hobbit children from going into the woods with some wicked tales.   
Now, with this in your mind, you can see why people thought of him as the most queer of folk. Hobbits did not trust him! He had only one friend, the young Hamfast Gamgee, who was very young at the age of twelve and a half, and together they were inseparable.   
It was one day little Hamfast was sent by Ferdirand to find some mushrooms for a soup Ferdirand's mother, Pansy, was making. Ferdirand, of course, was meant to be fetching them himself, but he decided instead to watch the sky go past. So off Hamfast trotted into the woods with a little basket.   
Mr. Danderfluff had watched this. He was an old Hobbit, and he seemed to be powerful in the age he was. He was very well respected and would be the first to give a young Hobbit a good telling-off. He hobbled over to Ferdirand, who was almost asleep in the thick grass above his own Hobbit Hole, and hit him over the head with his stick.   
Ferdirand jumped up with a curse, rubbing his head, and when he saw old Danderfluff standing there, he went as red as a sunset and backed away. Danderfluff gave him a glare and cleared his throat.   
"Young Hamfast shouldn't be alone in the woods." He said in a low tone. "At any rate you should be there with him, or on you're own, be it that. Now, should you like it that I tell your mother of you're whereabouts, or will you go and fetch Hamfast?"   
"I will go..." sighed Ferdirand, and he trotted away to the woods.   
  
Hamfast was plucking mushrooms from the ground; they were very plump and large, when he heard a rustle of leaves behind him. This startled him, as Hobbits were quiet in movement, so he turned around to see what it was. Almost instantly he was grabbed around the chest and lifted by a goblin. It was running at a terrible speed through the trees as if it knew these parts, but poor little Hamfast was too confused. He drifted into a deep sleep, passing out into the goblins arms.   
  
Ferdirand could not see his friend anywhere, but he had ventured quite far into the woods now. He then came to an old campfire site with three large stones around it, which he hadn't seen before. But he didn't stop to examine them, for he had to find Hamfast. Suddenly it became clear to him he could hear voices in the common language. He dived into a bush and soon two goblins wandered past, one holding Hamfast. They spoke quietly to each other.   
"I knew we would get some grub. Didn't I tell you?" Hissed one. "It was worth while to get away fro' that blasted group in the mountains."   
"Yes," Hissed the other. "But this is all the grub we're gonna get fo' the next lot o' days, if we don't find some o'er way."   
Eat Hamfast? Ferdirand thought. They cannot do that! Those ugly things are going to be defeated right now, even if I must find a way to do it myself!   
He then looked around him for a large stick, which he had noticed when he dived in and hit his head on it. He picked it up and jumped into the trees, diving from one branch to another in a skillful way. He did not crawl on all fours, nor hang with his hands. He just ran over them above where the goblins walked. He then thought of a plan in his head.   
He pulled from his pocket one of his Gunpowder packets, and threw it down at the feet of the Goblins. With a loud and echoing bang, they jumped up and wailed. Poor Hamfast was dropped to the floor, still out cold. Then the young Hobbit jumped from the trees and hit both Goblins across the head with the stick. They both wailed and ran, screaming "Fire and Beater! Curse on their kind! Hobbits are more than little folk!" Ferdirand lifted Hamfast up and carried him to the end of the woods. He lay him down and walked over to some mushrooms, picking and sacking them. It was then Hamfast woke up.   
"A...a dream?" Said Hamfast. "All a dream! My how fearful that was! I guess the sweet sent of mushrooms sent me a-sleeping! My, Master Ferdirand! Picking you're own mushrooms? A miracle! It's like you're a changed Hobbit! My, My, My, If dreams came true, I would have wished you to save me!"   
Ferdirand said nothing about what he had done, although he decided that his jokes weren't all that bad.   
  
Now, let me tell you everything that happened after this. Little Hamfast grew up to marry Bell Goodchild, becoming better known as The Gaffer. He had six children, Hamson, Halfred, Daisy, May, Marigold and the famous Samwise.   
  
The two Goblins were slain by Elves while they ran through the woods. The Elves did not know why they were there, but the tree closest to where they fell is marked "Fire and Beater - Two Goblins spoke that here there last." That tree remains there.   
  
And, at last, what happened to Ferdirand? Well, he would still play tricks on the Hobbits, but never to Old Danderfluff, for only he had guessed correctly of why Ferdirand would call "Fire and Beater: I slew two goblins!" in his sleep. 


End file.
